If you live in two or more languages, you don't have to pick one for therapy and stay inside it. Many bilingual people find that some things come out more easily in their first language and others in the second, and the moment you switch can tell you and your therapist something useful. What matters is that the choice is yours, that your therapist knows how you use your languages, and that you can move between them when a word or a memory calls for it.
What researchers found about memory, feeling and language
The research is small and none of it settles how your own therapy would go, but three findings are worth knowing.
- In a 2000 study of Russian-English bilinguals who had moved to the United States, people recalled more experiences from their Russian-speaking years when they were interviewed in Russian, and more from their English-speaking years when interviewed in English. The language of the conversation changed which memories came back.
- A 2009 study with Turkish students who had learned English measured skin conductance, a small change in sweat that tracks arousal. Emotional phrases heard in English produced a weaker response than the same phrases in Turkish, and the gap was largest for the kind of reprimand a child hears from a parent. The same study found that speaking the second language added a strain of its own, linked to the effort of producing it.
- A 2025 systematic review of 18 studies on counselling in more than one language found that clients switch to recall certain memories, to fill a gap in vocabulary, to find the most exact word for a feeling, or to keep some distance from a painful experience. It also found that the choice of language was often never discussed with the counsellor at all.
Taken together, these suggest that a session in your second language may feel calmer and also more tiring, and that some of your history may be easier to reach in the language you lived it in.
Moments when switching can help
A memory from before the move
If you grew up in one language and built your adult life in another, a scene from childhood may come back with more detail when you tell it in the language your family spoke then. You can start the story in English and finish it in the other language, or say the exact phrase a parent used and then explain it.
A word that does not translate
Some languages have a word for a feeling that English needs a sentence for. Saying the word as it is, and then describing what it means to you, is often quicker and more accurate than searching for an English equivalent while the feeling fades.
A subject that feels too close
Some people find it easier to approach a painful event first in their second language, where the words carry less weight. Several studies in the review describe clients doing this with distressing material. That distance can let you begin, and later you may choose to return to the same event in your first language when you feel ready.
Saying something blunt
Anger, a swear word or a criticism of a parent can feel more permitted in one language than in the other. If you notice you can only say something sharp in one of your languages, that is worth saying out loud too.
When a switch may be a way around a feeling
The distance a second language gives can help you start, and it can also help you stay away. You might notice that you always move to English when a session turns to one particular person, or that you describe something sad in careful, correct sentences and feel nothing while you do. There's nothing wrong with that. It's information, and a therapist can point it out gently so you can decide whether to stay where you are or try the same moment in the other language.
| What you notice, and what it may be doing | What you could try |
|---|---|
| You reach for your first language only when you are upset. It may be giving the feeling its own words. | Let yourself finish the sentence in that language before you put it in English. |
| You tell a hard story only in English, and it feels flat. You may be keeping a safer distance from it. | Say one sentence of it in your first language and see what changes. |
| You stop mid-sentence looking for a word. You may have hit a gap in one language. | Use the word you have, in any language, and describe it. |
| You feel drained after sessions in your second language. Speaking it may take real effort. | Mention it, and agree on where you can use your first language. |
| You avoid one language altogether. You may be protecting yourself from what it brings up. | Notice it without forcing anything, and talk about it when you are ready. |
What to tell your therapist in the first sessions
Since language is so often left out of the conversation, it helps to bring it up yourself. You don't need to prepare a speech. A few facts are enough.
- Which languages you speak, and which one you grew up in.
- Which language you use at home, at work and with your parents now.
- Whether there is a language you think in when you are tired or upset.
- Whether you would like to switch freely, keep to one, or try both and see.
- If the therapist does not speak your other language, whether you would still like room to say a word or a sentence in it and then explain.
If language shifts are part of a wider story of moving countries, the immigration and adjustment page describes how therapy can help with identity, cultural adaptation and feeling in between cultures. The article on cultural transition looks at the same years from another side.
How BridgeMinds works with more than one language
Carolina Vintu, PhD, Registered Psychotherapist, provides therapy in English, Russian and Romanian, online for clients across Ontario. Which of them you use in sessions, and whether you mix them, is something to settle with her on the first call. The page on therapy in Russian explains how sessions in Russian are arranged. If you would like to talk about which language might suit you, you are welcome to book a free 15-minute consultation.
